New Indiana Jones Fails, But Not Because Of Harrison
By Bob Garver
Indiana Jones. The name conjures up memories of arguably the biggest franchise of the 80s.
Raiders of the Lost Ark, Temple of Doom, and The Last Crusade were enormous successes in
their day. The adventures of the fedora-wearing archeologist with a knack for finding treasure and trouble
made over $150 million each. Now creators Steven Spielberg and George Lucas have decided to add another
installment with Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. It is sure to make a boatload of money, perhaps
more than any other film in the franchise. But I’m afraid to say that its quality does not justify
its inevitable box office haul. Why can’t this film live up to the standards set by a series whose
last installment was over twenty years ago?
the problem with the film lies with its star, Harrison Ford. After all, most of the questions surrounding
the film all seem to concern his advancing age. Can he still be a convincing action hero? Is
his body too frail to cope with the physical demands of the role? Has he retained his quick wit?
Can he still woo the ladies? As he fights off a hoard of bad guys in the film’s first five
minutes, we know the answers: yes, no, yes, and I can’t speak to the last one but probably yes.
Harrison Ford is still tough, cool, and funny enough to play Indiana Jones.
Ford isn’t the problem with the movie. Maybe Shia LaBeouf is. I didn’t
much care for him in Transformers (I wanted to see more of the titular robots). Now he’s
showing up in a franchise with a rich history to protect. Even riskier is putting him in a role that has
ruined many a franchise: the role of the sidekick. Usually, once the filmmaker decides
to add a sidekick, it means that the hero has grown stale and the franchise is finished.
But actually, LaBeouf isn’t bad at all in the film. He plays Mutt, a kid with a murky background,
whose mother and father figure Professor “Ox” Oxley (John Hurt) have been kidnapped. That’s
father figure, not father. His father was killed in a war. Or
not. Mutt needs Indy to help get the man back. A good portion of the film is devoted
to this mission. Mutt wants so badly to be tough guy, borrowing his image from James Dean and early Brando.
But he can’t quite pull it off, and his bravado often gets the best of him. This is not to
paint him as a whiny comic foil. Mutt is, if anything, a student. He learns a lot from
Indy in the course of the movie, and not all of it has to do with archeology.
Ford and LaBeouf are in the clear, maybe the problem with Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is with its villain,
Cate Blanchett. She isn’t terribly threatening, physically. And her acting is
sometimes considered over the top. Heck, sometimes it’s so over the top, she can’t even see
the top from where her acting is.
neither of these are bad for Indiana Jones movies. The villains are never physical threats, they’re
usually pretty good at delegating the dirty work. As for the acting, these aren’t the kind of movies
that need to be realistic. Spirits and curses are a part of this world. Blanchett’s
acting is not going to be the thing that overrides your suspension of disbelief. Just don’t hold
your breath waiting for her to utter “Moose and Squirrel” with her Ukrainian accent.
Blanchett plays Irina Spalko, a prominent Communist scientist. The first three Indiana Jones
movies took place in the 30s and 40s and had Nazis as their villains. This one takes place in the 50s,
its villains are Commies. Spalko has kidnapped Ox and Mutt’s mother. She tricks
Mutt and Indy into retrieving a mysterious crystal skull which gives its holder telekinetic powers. She
gets her hands on the skull, but soon finds that it isn’t terribly powerful by itself. But it does
lead to a temple where there are more crystal skulls and untold power and riches waiting to be claimed for whoever returns
the missing skull. The rest of the movie is Indy, Mutt, Ox, and Mutt’s mother trying to stop Spalko
and the rest of the evil Commies from getting into the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Or at least getting
So far so good. Ford
is still killer as Indy. LaBeouf doesn’t ruin things as the sidekick. Blanchett
is an ideal villain. A familiar character from the Indiana Jones universe surprises the audience by showing
up as Mutt’s mother (she’s also quick to clear up the identity of Mutt’s father). There’s
plenty of setup for adventure an excitement. An early action sequence in a warehouse is a great promise
of things to come. The music is as stirring as ever. How does this movie become such
a failure on a creative level?
blame the aliens.
There are aliens in
Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. Phony-looking, CGI aliens. There is a place for supernatural elements
in this world. But aliens? Especially the ones in this movie? Come
on. Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is directed by Steven Spielberg, who has a mixed track record
including aliens in his films. Close Encounters of the Third Kind and E.T. are classics.
But he’s been struggling lately with the lukewarm receptions for War of the Worlds and A.I.
It looks like he keeps trying to recapture the magic of his former blockbusters and growing increasingly frustrated
with each failure. Which is why we have disappointing efforts like this.
It’s not just the aliens that cause problems for this
movie. The special effects are just lousy in general. The opening chase and early excavation
sequences aren’t so bad. But the seams start to show during a car chase through the jungle.
And continue through the climactic temple sequence. There’s one scene at the end where the
temple itself morphs into something else that is so inauthentic you wonder how it was allowed in the movie at all.
The idea of an Indiana Jones movie in 2008 is not a bad one.
Harrison Ford is still up for the role, and there are a number of other talented actors who can contribute in supporting
roles. Technology is better than ever, and there’s no shortage of screenwriters who can make the
film fit in well with its predecessors. But Kingdom of the Crystal Skull is still going to go
down as a black mark on the Indiana Jones franchise. It fails because of a reliance on bad special
effects. It fails because of an ill-conceived idea to include aliens. It fails because
of Steven Spielberg.